Tired? Lazy?

I don't know what it is with me lately. I don't feel like I have enough energy. ALL I want to do is sleep. Barring that, I'd love to curl up in some warm blankets with a hot cup of tea and read ceaselessly.

However, little bug would much rather have my attention, and I KNOW she would love to leave the house more often. I'm paying a premium for rights to go swim in the warm pool at the Y, and we haven't gone at all in the past two weeks. On work days, I come home feeling exhausted and still have dinner and bath to navigate. On weekends, I barely have the motivation to run our necessary errands like grocery shopping. Bug really needs more than a library trip once a week, especially since the weather is brutally cold and Dad doesn't take her out during the week.

Sigh.

So, I'm always about finding the cause of things, with the hopes of finding a solution. So, what could be the causes of my exhaustion?

C1: Bug waking me up to nurse in the middle of the night each night.
S1: Wean her. I plan to do this over spring break, when I can sleep in if needed

C2: Laziness begats laziness.
S2: Become acquainted with the treadmill at the Y or go for walks with bug.

C3: Some sort of chemical/hormonal imbalance.
S3: The days are slowly getting longer. The sun should be back in a week or two, I need some of it!

No definitive causes or solutions, and nothing I can do immediately except perhaps make a serious effort to hit the Y this evening and take bug swimming.

Third Saturday

Tis the third Saturday of my 4-day weekend. I am slowly kicking the crud out of my body. I have more energy today, as evidenced by a Costco run with daughter in tow. My periods of non-sneezing have lengthened. My throat is without pain, if not without extra sludge.

So, I thought I'd do my taxes, but I tried the guess-and-check method for my password one too many times. Now I must wait for my account to unlock. I also considered starting my Pepper plants, but I'm not sure I have *that* much energy. I should probably sterilize my potting mix, as the bag has been outdoors (though dry) all winter. I don't have energy for that either.

I've had plenty of time for reddit lately. Tis my new obsession. I have found recommended fantasy books, a XX chromosome section, and received just enough upratings to make me crave more.

Yes, I am that boring.

Unstructured Time

This is the first of four unstructured days. I do have some things planned, but no real firm timelines for them. I also don't really plan on completing anything major. I suspect I'll grocery shop at some point, start our taxes at some point, maybe start some red pepper seeds at some point.

Grandma is going to watch bug on Monday afternoon, but even then I don't have anything major in mind.

This is all a very good thing as I have a moderate cold. It started with throat yuck, then proceeded to nasal yuck, now its ascending to brain fog yuck. I'm so glad I'm not at work today.

Despite the yuck, there was a sunbeam outside and I couldn't resist. An overshirt was sufficient, as I went out and puttered in the yard, retrieved my seed starting mix, and started digging grass out of my potential strawberry bed. I'm thinking maintaining a trench around the bed is the best way to keep the grass out. Then the bed will be raised with bricks. Bricks worked well for my tomato bed...

Bug followed me around outside, typically with fists full of soil.

Dreams, Kindle chat, end of humanity

I've remembered more of my dreams lately. One in which GRRM died (the horror!), another in which I was coughing up blood (it was annoying but not earth-shattering) and another in which I was pulling splinters the size of vampire-slaying stakes from the bottoms of my feet. Also annoying.

There was one in which I was working to start a special preschool. It still seems like an awesome idea.

In Kindle news, when it comes to the subject of Facebook chat, Kindle is a big fail. Maybe there's a different link or source for mobile chat, but I wasn't able to reply with the standard chat at all. But, without it I wouldn't have been able to reach Facebook from work at all. So, its still a bonus.

Tonight I will watch the final Watson vs humans episode of Jeopardy. I hope computers like human pets in the future...

Garden 2011

My brain is firmly in garden mode. A sunny 48 degrees will do that to me.

The baby and I wandered and puttered out in the back yard. We wore only overshirts, in dark colors to soak up the sun. I moved some leaves around. I pulled up some baby carrots that just might still be edible. I dreamed.

Yesterday I visited the seed store. I dreamed.

I picked up an impromptu book from the library on gardening in my region. I dreamed.

I have two stern warnings for myself this garden year.

1. Beware cats. If you don't protect it, it will end up full of sh*t.
2. Beware earwigs. If you plant something they like, it will FAIL.

This means using plenty of wire mesh over every garden bed I prepare. This means not bothering to plant things like corn and carrots. This means not trying too hard to bait or trap the earwigs. I spent too many years fighting them tooth and nail. I need to accept that I shall only grow that which does not appeal to the earwig palate.

Familial obligations, check!

It is my SIL's birthday today. I brought her a gift card and couple of cheap things I picked out. A gift card alone just feels wrong to me... so she also got a journal and some scrapbooking decor.

Next I went to my aunt's house (about 6 blocks away) and helped her hook up her fax machine and computer. I had hooked them up the first time, but they got moved and then they didn't work. I didn't realize the fax machine required a special cord, but I figured it out before too terribly long, on low blood sugar no less! She insisted on giving me a $20 and a huge stack of books for Bug.

I had Bug with me the whole time. She was pretty good all things considered.

Now, I'm home, starving, drinking a beer and cooking a doctored Red Baron pizza (pepperoni plus black olives, onion, and green pepper with some shredded mozzarella on top). I'm starving. I know I said that already but I mean it!

I was kinda dreading all of this going and doing on a week night but I found the energy somewhere, somehow.

Perils of checking work email from home

I just got home, checked personal email, and checked work email. Then for some strange reason I decided to check work email AGAIN. In the span of 30 seconds I had received a warning message from my server. Loosely translated: "hundreds of people are now unable to access the web site, you'd better push the easy button!"

Alas, I am home, and I don't have a link to the easy button (the remote server application). So begins the quest...

The link has mysteriously disappeared from my gmail, but I think I can type it in from memory. Only, I'm typing on our toddler's computer and her keyboard has no colon! So, I go and copy one from the character map. Then I try to load the site but it won't connect. I sigh, realizing I must load up VNP first. So, I load up VPN but it hasn't been installed on this computer before. So, I have to install it. Finally, I reach the remote server site, and it says I need a newer version of Java. So I have to install that. FINALLY I get in to the remote server app and press the easy button.

All is well now.

I really need to get that server problem fixed...

I tried, I tired

I tried to make a post from my Kindle last night. I can't even recall what it was about now... but my Kindle locked up and my post left my brain and I decided that sleep would be a far better use of my time.

Of course my child didn't get that memo, because she woke up last night and after trying to nurse her back to sleep (yes, at 16 months, no I am not a lactivist) she proceeded to fuss off and on for the next hour or more. Sigh.

I thought I had the secret formula of night sleeping... Having a good snack before bed, having her digestive health in order, being snuggled in her sleepsack, putting her down in her crib before she's comatose. All of the above resulted in three blissful nights of sleep for a mother who forgot what uninterrupted sleep felt like.

Alas, no repetition of the above formula has worked again for the past 3 nights. "It gets better" seems to be the mantra of the sleep-deprived parent. But, when better gets worse, you can keep your mantras. I'll take an extra hour of sleep.