It is slightly too early to go to bed, though I'm exhausted. I finally slept better last night, but one night does not make up for an entire week of crappy sleep. I had some stress/excitement lately which ended quite well. But, it also threw me off. Something about my internal rhythms just has not recovered...
I had a dream last night about an old friend. I was trying very hard to hang with her, to be interested, to *be* friends. She was friendly, and there was nothing negative about our interactions. But, it was all forced. I felt so thoroughly uninspired. The feeling has clung to me all day.
I live my days looking forward to the next thing. But, in friendland, I'm not sure now if another letter will reach me or not. I'm not sure if a phone call will come my way.
Though I hesitate to pin my joys on material things... there is more of a sure thing for me to look forward to. At last, in roughly two days, I will be in possession of an android smartphone! I cannot wait. I suppose I'll just keep looking forward to that and all else will be or not be at its discretion.
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